Take One.

I am a nice person and I want nice things. how is that for a blog entry?

REAL

I'm at a point in my life, where I only want what is real. They say as you get older, that you have fewer and fewer friends. Perhaps that is why. The only ones worth while are few are far between.  I've been thinking about lots of things and trying to weed out the negativity in my life. Certain relationships foster unhealthy behaviors and mind-states.  Don't have time for that. Pass. 

For those who have truly loved, supported, and fostered my growth I am forever thankful.  For those who have been the source of strife, thank you for the life lesson, but now I'm moving on.  FYI: for those of you who are comfortable where you are as a person, you are not doing your job as a human (to yourself and the world).  You should constantly be wanting to make yourself better and learn how to be well-rounded.  If I sound preachy, I don't care. I wish I could give some people a reality check in a little lunch bag and drop it off on the front porch of their house.  

Thanks for reading.

People Don't Ruin Relationships, Technology Does

Ok, people do ruin relationships. The title is a lie, but if people ruin relationships technology is the accomplice. Whether its email that gets lost in cyberspace, phone calls that get disconnected, texts that arrive three hours after they were sent, or voice mails that go unheard. All of these threaten and cause tension in relationships.  I can remember instances where each of these situations have happened to me personally.  My boyfriend (at the time) and I were fighting on the phone.  I kept talking, and all of a sudden the call ends. He better not have just hung up on me, was all I could think. That call was full of intentional hang ups and, non-intentional hang ups.  The non-intentional ones just fueled the flame to the fire of my rage.  I can also remember sending a text to friend asking to hang-out, and I didn't get a response for three hours.  Seems like the friend was ignoring me, and was canceling plans for the night. Naturally, I became bothered.  Another time, I got the line Didn't you get my email? I had not, and had been wondering all weekend about this persons safety.  Their phone had died, and they had sent me an email to tell me so, but it had gotten lost in cyberspace.  If you are anything like me, you wonder whether people blame technology for their late or lack of communication, when really technology is just fine.  Of course I've been the victim as well.  Trying to communicate certain important things via text or phone call, and the call never shows up on missed calls, and the text doesn't arrive until after a person has called me inquiring as to what is wrong.  

As convenient as technology is, technology has changed social interactions and complicated relationships.  Even dating has changed.  Phone calls are only used as a last resort.  When people are busy at work or doing mundane things, they sneak in a quick text.   Texts allow people to have a conversation all day long. How exhausting.  And then if people actually are dating, they wonder what happened or if someone was offended when the other person takes  long to respond--but really it could be a million reasons.  My girlfriend is dating a guy, and  i can see all the effects of texting.  How come he didn't text back right away? He never text me back, did I offend him? What does he mean by that comment? Is he trying to imply ____? Sometimes it seems like more of a headache to rely on such communication, than not.  Other times it is bliss, when you feel like you get a personal message that one one else knows about, saying something nice or meaningful.  A catch-22. Texting kills--it's either a love or a hate.

And What

It ain't nothing but a thing. This blog is going to get a little more personal.  A series of events have occurred since January.  Well actually I should probably start at the end of December of last year.  Where I am currently is a culmination of growth, nostalgia, opportunity, and disappointment.  I have so much going for me and so much to yet experience that I am grateful for where I am and who I'm becoming. 

Certain situations and people have left me feeling disappointed, a disappointment that for some reason or another I have been spared with for a good amount of time.  But now that these situations have arose I've re-evaluated other aspects of my life.  Lately, I've had a reality check or perhaps you can call them epiphanies--either way, I'm readjusting. What I have been living thus far has been pretty great, but I am ready for a change.  

On another note:

My personality is what it is. If you know me, you know very well that I have my opinions and I'm going to speak my mind.  Some people feel threatened by this, others get scared, and very few actually appreciate it.  If more people would simply appreciate it, my life would be that much easier.  I feel sometimes like I become an outcast, not because I don't get along well with people but because it is an inherent composition of my personality.  I'm tired of living by politically correct terms, I don't care if you think I'm arrogant, of course I want you to like me but if you don't I'm not going to sweat it.  I'm tired of the bullshit we play in social interactions with one another.  They say choose your battles--but what about a person that cares soo much that they want to take on every battle?  

Why can't people just be who they are and defend what they believe in? Call me ideal, but if people simply had more confidence and less reservations this world would be a much better place.