But a Number

For a woman, the status of "single" ultimately marks her relationship to the world. What does "single" even really mean? Numerous dictionary definitions grapple this question through themes of solidarity, loneliness, distinctness, marriage, etc.  But when a woman is defined as "single" I have yet to find positive themes that are attached to her "single-ness." There is a constant pressure since the day women are born, to seek out a male companion, to want a outlandish wedding, to yearn for a fairy-tale prince, to float off into oblivion.. Maybe if we float in a bubble suspended up by  cotton candy and fairy-dust, we'll make it in the world.  POP. Then comes the first heart-break, with that sticky fingered kid on the playground.  Or maybe it's high school, when boys' hormones rage as they grow into their awkward bodies (albeit girls go through this as well).  Or maybe, its college. Who knows? The question is: what is the stigma of being single? A certain type of inadequacy becomes equated with a women old enough for a career, but without a ring on her finger.  

Lets think of single as a number. One is the number of "single." Is that the problem? Why do we have to be paired off?  If we want to blame anyone, how about the Bible? I'm not an expert on the Bible, but I know just as much as the next schmuck about common Bible stories. Two words: Noah's Arc.  The pairings on the arc served a purpose--procreation.  You can't tell me this is the reason "single" women are stigmatized.  Because if this is the case, I'm not sure feminist movements would approve. Women as the cultural bearers of the nation...tell me I have not heard this before--not in Ireland, not in Algeria, not in Ghana...In the U.S. let's just say Susan B. Anthony and Abigail Adams would turn in their graves.  

Enough with the nation and enough with the fairy-tales. "Single" is but a number.

Call it What you Want

"Loss and vulnerability seem to follow from our being socially constituted beings, attached to others, at risk of losing those attachments, exposed to others, at risk of violence by virtue of that exposure."  -judith bulter

Seeking a connection with other people is a dangerous thing.  Wonderful at the onset, but ultimately lead to strife and the omniscient presence of the unpredictable.  I sound so cynical. It's just the seedy underbelly of life. Deal. Other aspects of humans connecting to one another is still quite lovely and refreshing--yet there is always something lurking around the corner.  People change, circumstances develop, and life goes on.  The only problem I feel with this is the disconnect between why things happen and how they happen.  For example: perhaps a friend comes into a season in your life when you need them. But how they go out of your life--perhaps like the sharp edge of a knife--that is the part I don't understand.  Must ties be severed so harshly, when a cordial goodbye would suffice?

Music as a Cocktail

I should have been born a musician. Everything about music intrigues me. It's an escape, it's a mood elevator, it's a breezy day with sunshine. Ok, now I'm getting cheesy.  But honestly. The world would be bland without music.  Music brings to life dramatic movie scenes, music fills in the void of awkward elevator rides, music draws people to large concert halls, music draws people to piss-smelling-hole-in-the-wall-dive-bars, music is like a cocktail for our ears (or maybe a really fancy imported beer, for all you men who refuse to be associated with the "cocktail"--even though, mind you, I know you enjoy them secretly).

A cocktail comes in a decorative glass, with maybe some type of  adornment--pineapple, red cherry, an umbrella reminiscent of a a caribbean getaway (even though it was probably made in China).  

Picture this: Jazzy music. A cool spring day with nothing to do, airing out your sentiments like laundry in the wind.  A chilled glass, delicately balanced in your hand, and the alcohol drowning your movement and your thoughts into oblivion.  

Gun Power

It's in catchy lyrics, it's in media saturated images, it's the weapon of choice for gangs--GUNS are everywhere. Think about the iconic western scene where dust-ridden cowboys position themselves for a face off, with shiny black guns cocked and ready for aim.

Tough. Quick. Badass. Guns just seem like a good idea--at least for some type of machismo image. So here is a confession. I give into the image. I don't advocate shootings or violence with guns, but the aesthetic is just so damn, for lack of a better word...COOL.

For my birthday in August, I would love nothing more than to go to a shooting range and learn how to shoot a gun. Is that so wrong?

Here are links to numerous songs I can think of that involve guns:

Happiness is a Warm GUN (Beatles)

Knocking on Heaven's Door (GUNS' N Roses)

Shot of a GUN (Kane)

Bucky Done GUN (MIA)

Janie's Got a GUN (Aerosmith)

Got Yourself a GUN (Nas)

Rocket Ship (Shiny Toy GUNS)

and there are sooo many more.

Current Favorites

                                                                             

                                                                         

                                                                         
                                                                                                   
                                  
                                             
                          
                                                                                                  

If "Need" Could Only Be Sexier.

Why is "want" always trumping "need"?  

 "Want" seems to elicit attitudes of lust, desire, temptation, and angst. "Need" seems to be lack-luster--something out of a basic need, out of moral obligation, out of some type of banal existence.  "Want" seems to win the battle every-time because it's "sexier" and more appealing.  "Want" sucks the life out of "need" all the time...

Why can't what we "need" in life radiate brilliance and charisma?  One example (although there are many): I remember this quote from some movie, where this girl cheated on her fiance.   After finding out she slept with another man, he told her, "I don't need you, but I WANT you in my life." well fuck. why would you "want" her? What you "need" is to kick that bitch out of your life. Right?  It's not so black and white with emotions, but logically speaking it should be.  

Moral of the story for the kids is::::::::::: this is an epidemic. People all across the country are giving into "want" and pushing aside "need." And for what? Lets cut to chase, bypass the failure of "want," and give into the "need." Shall we?

p.s. lauryn hill lyrics inspired this post.